Strange Fruit Friday, October 3, 2008 6:39PM I got screwed over by the first boy I let into my life since. A long time. How can something you expected so soon hurt so much? I feel like bracing for impact has done absolutely nothing in this situation. Looks are so deceiving, but that whole "Everything happens for a reason" mantra kind of stands out in this situation. I think I've open a door for my exgirlfriend who now sees that she does miss the attention. Although it's hard to admit it, I do too. Spite fueled determination is always nice. I am as determined as hell to lose as much weight as humanly possible before the homecoming dance. I have a beautiful party dress that I haven't worn in over two years and just barely fits, but it looks great. If I lose a few and tone up a little it'll look perfect.

I wonder how my mother would feel seeing what an amazing person I am becoming without her. I'm content thinking she would feel terrible knowing her first born is just fine without her. She can't stand that people can't stand her, to the point that she is narcisstic and in denial. I am happy where I am. I couldn't be in any better of a place right now. I really, truly don't need her in my life.

xoxo

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